An introduction to this blog.

Hello to you.

My name is Alex Lay and I am a highly sensitive dude.

Up until a few years ago, I had just assumed I was a bit weird. I knew I was different to most people, but I had no idea there was a label for people like me.

At first, I thought the label sounded very negative. Surely being sensitive is a bad thing … Our World is all about survival of the fittest. If you aren’t strong and resilient, you will fall behind and end up as a failure. You’ve got to do what you can to keep up with the daily grind!

But after giving it some thought, I realised our World is a bit of a mess. Greedy politicians run anti-immigration campaigns and appeal to the small-minded who think ‘Them ruddy immigrants are stealing all our jobs, init’. People compete with their work colleagues in an attempt to gain a small promotion. Men and women cheat on their partners and betray their family’s trust in order to attain short-term satisfaction. Billions of animals are slaughtered and abused in factory farms and slaughterhouses or, arguably worse, at the Yulin Festival in China. Planet Earth continues to be destroyed, while people remain blissfully ignorant and tag along with the crowd like lost sheep.

I could go on …

But let’s just say that some very, very bad things happen. You can’t turn on the news for a few minutes without hearing about another tragic murder or terrorist attack. The news of this week is that an American police officer shot a black man for, well … being black. The guy was getting his vehicle paperwork and the Cop freaked – or else is just very racist and assuming – and unleashed a spray of bullets.

America – mate – you’ve got to tighten up the gun control laws. “But Alex, guns don’t kill people. People kill people”. Yes. You are right. But guns certainly make it very easy, don’t they?

Dr. Elaine Aron first coined the term ‘Highly Sensitive Person’ (or HSP for short). Elaine estimates that 15-20% of people are predisposed to a more active and sensitive nervous system, which results in a tendency to become more easily overwhelmed and stimulated that the rest, coined ‘Non-HSPs’. You cannot decide to become non-sensitive. It is in your physiology. It’s in your blood, man.

I’ve been ever interested in this stuff, because it plays a HUGE part in my life. So huge that I had to hit caps-lock for a moment. I digest everything HSP related I can find, but I have become aware that not many men are talking about this.

Sometimes, you realise you are the one who needs to do what hasn’t yet been done. So I am stepping up to the plate.

Please follow this Blog for further posts. I will aim to write something new at least once a week, and I will be very transparent and open about my appreciation for my own sensitive nature, as well as honest about the struggles I have faced and continue to face as I navigate through this crazy little planet.

I plan to start filming some YouTube videos soon, which I will combine with my posts so watch this space!

Until the next time, take care and dream big.

~ Alex.

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11 thoughts on “An introduction to this blog.

  1. Alex. I can relate to your feelings. I don’t watch the news for those very reasons.
    I voted in the referendum by NOT listening to politicians’ truth warping – researched facts for both sides of the argument for myself.
    I used to get worked up by the Greed of humanity. I think it is best to guide people and not enforce any ideals on them. It is best to put your energies into behaving positively rather than worry about the world.

    Since realising I’m an introvert I thought that my sensitivities were part of that personality type. Reading your post has got me thinking whether I am sensitive as well.

    Does sensitivity belong with introversion or is it a totally separate thing?

    Keep on being a dude

    Like

    1. Hello my friend.

      I am definitely very introverted, but Elaine Aron suggests 30% of HSPs are extroverted… which must be difficult because they WANT to be around people, but can’t for very long without feeling worn out.

      I personally expect nearly everyone who is a HSP is introverted. We HSPs spend a lot of time in our heads.

      You are right that it doesn’t do any good to push our views onto others. Best to go for the gentle approach. As a Vegan, I have realised that not everyone will listen to emotional reasoning. Some people are just going to do what they have always done. Peace.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think every Vegan ever said they could never give up meat, dairy and eggs. But it was pretty gradual for me.

        I don’t want to force my opinions down your throat like Foie Gras, but I would invite you to look into it in your own time if you are unaware what is happening in the animal agriculture business.

        It’s pretty shocking.

        I’m 3 months in and I feel absolutely fine. If my health was plummeting, I’d find it pretty hard to stick to but, because it is not, I cannot justify supporting those industries.

        The dairy industry is arguably the worst of all.

        All the best my friend.

        Like

  2. Me again! Was reading this:
    http://introvertdear.com/2015/09/23/signs-youre-a-highly-sensitive-person/

    I was happy to label myself as introverted. Now it appears I have another label. Makes me wonder if I am extroverted but also HSP.

    I wonder what the difference is between introversion and being an extroverted HSP? The only difference is the former recharges outside social groups while latter can only recharge when in a comfortable social setting.

    Seems it would be difficult to determine. Both will loose energy in most social settings.

    Maybe I’m an extroverted HSP because I want to be a part of a group of people but it does tire me. Oh well guess you have given me something to think about.

    Like

    1. I know … it can be confusing.

      I get frustrated that I cannot be a part of groups and go to parties and that kind of thing, but I do still think I am an introvert, 100%.

      Because I find joy in simple things, like nature and reading a book. I love walking my dog or just sitting in the garden. I don’t need to be around people in order to relax. I am quite happy on my own or just with my girlfriend the whole weekend.

      But there is still a part of me that thinks ‘Oh no… I don’t have loads of friends. When I get married, who would be my best man? I wouldn’t be able to have a stag do’.

      But meh, do what you enjoy and accept your limitations.

      Like

      1. Okay just read some detailed traits of extroverts and introverts. I’m definitely introverted. Now I guess my newly worded question is:
        What is the difference between someone who is introverted and someone who is an introverted HSP?

        Maybe if you are just introverted and not a HSP you won’t feel too much emotion toward other people’s problems and harrowing news?

        Sorry for all the questions.

        Like

      2. That’s okay mate…

        Introverts are more drawn in and happy to do their own thing, i.e. reading or some other activity of solitude, for much of the time.

        Introverts will probably not enjoy being around people for long. And they HATE small talk.

        HSPs, however, also are sensitive to EVERYTHING. It’s a nervous system issue, in which you are easily stimulated. You experience things more intensely, like lights and sounds. They are perceived more brightly and loudly. You will be affected by things other people haven’t noticed.

        Introverts might often also be HSPs, but a good test might be drinking coffee.

        For me, I cannot handle it.
        I always feel pretty stimulated, and that coffee can increase my anxiety tenfold.

        I tick Yes to almost every question on the HSP test on Elaine Aron’s site. Maybe go and try it yourself and see what you think. Doesn’t take long.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thank you for your time. Yes looks like I’m a HSP as well. I have gotten to know my self so much more these past few weeks. Wish i knew all this 20 years ago.

        HSP explains why I don’t enjoy watching some kids films with my children – I can find them too emotionally challenging sometimes! So weird. I’m a relatively strong looking guy who gets distraught by Disney films! What a wimp! Oh well this explains everything. It’s why I can’t really handle Game of Thrones. People love the distress etc, not me!

        Thanks once again. The more i understand myself the stronger I become.

        You are very insightful. Cheers 🍻

        Like

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