Anxiety in Highly Sensitive People.

Stefan 4

I have lived with Anxiety ever since entering Adulthood – around 10 years ago (I am 26 as I write this).

I was shy and sometimes anxious when I was a child, but when our eyes are opened and we are told the truth about some of the things that happen in our World, it’s hard to go back to that state of innocence and naivety.

I mean, let’s be real … it was much easier to relax and have fun when we thought that Santa Claus was real. We loved that guy purely because we wanted some gifts.

Now, if an overweight man with a beard came down our chimney and entered our homes, we would call the Police. We would also probably wonder how an overweight man can actually fit down a chimney. Oh, and if they want to invite Children to sit on their lap, be sure they aren’t a pedophile!

I think I’ll tell my future children from the get-go that Santa is a lie. I’m not having some fictional fat-ass take the credit for the Playstation 6 (let’s hope that they come up with a new name by then) that I bought ’em!

Oh, and with regards to the Tooth Fairy, what kind of weirdo is paying to collect some second-hand teeth?

Anxiety is something that everyone has to deal with, but some can suffer chronically, until it takes over their lives and makes everything appear very hostile, dangerous and bleak.

I would say the highly intelligent and highly aware are those most likely to struggle. Ultimately, I think we HSPs are much more prone to becoming anxious (and depressed – but more on that another time) because we feel things deeply and it’s hard to find distraction when we are constantly trying to live with purpose. Sometimes life gets in the way and we are not able to achieve the things we dream of achieving. It can take a long time to get anywhere.

And some people may be happy to settle for whatever lands at their feet and then they enjoy their social lives or watching TV soaps when they get home from work, but for the Highly Sensitive we crave meaning and depth- more than can be offered by ‘The Only Way Is Essex’ or ‘America’s Next Top Model’.

And hey, I’m all for finding a healthy escape.

I enjoy watching shows on Netflix (maybe I’ll do a post on the kind of things I watch) but I can find it hard to relax when I feel I am not achieving what I would like to be. Or other things are at the front of my mind, such as the hopeless lives Farm animals are born into. I feel a duty to get involved with fixing this dreadfully broken World, because I am no longer in denial that things are okay.

Things are actually pretty shit. And that becomes apparent as you mature and learn about our reality.

I have learned to take better care of myself, but I do have to be extra diligent, or else I can fall into a pit of fear and apprehension. Things are stimulating for us, and so loud noises and crowds of people naturally wear us down and can leave us a frazzled mess. On top of that, if we skimp on sleep and eat poor diets, we suffer the consequences pretty quickly.

It can feel as if we are alone and separate and this, again, causes us to feel anxious. We feel like the odd ones out and can sense people’s judgement. We overthink things and end up worrying that people don’t like us, or think we are boring, quiet or even rude because we don’t quite fit in to the status quo.

As an introverted Vegan, I do feel very alone out in my every day life. I feel like I am more evolved than others, without meaning to sound like I have my head stuck up my ass. I roll my eyes (in my mind) when I hear people’s small talk or superficial conversation. I feel frustrated with my job and long to feel at peace. I get bored and agitated with monotonous routine.

Sometimes it can feel like I will never get there and that everything is just pointless (falling more into the category of depression here) …

If we don’t allow ourselves to live in line with our core values, we will feel like crap. We will feel like something is missing. We will have difficulty resting and sleeping through the night.

Given that I have dealt with these feelings for a long time, I have read hundreds of self-help books and spent a lot of time looking into treatment of Anxiety. I will share what I have learned soon, but please know that there is no ‘cure’. There are lots of little things we can do to help ourselves, but while the World remains as it is, we will feel pain. In our lifetimes, there will always be fear because things – if they are ever going to change – are not going to change quickly.

There is always the threat of another World War, and it can seem inevitable when Donald f*cking Trump might actually be elected as the next President. The new Prime Minister of the UK – Theresa May – has gone on record to say she would kill thousands of innocent people with a nuclear bomb to show ‘we aren’t afraid to use our weapons’. Pretty scary stuff. Of course, this was all said hypothetically and I don’t think it’s as simple as pressing a little red button behind a capsule, but you have to wonder what our future will look like.

Sometimes, although it is hard, we need to let go of feeling responsible for everyone else’s problems and look after ourselves. As I write this, I am feeling a burden. I feel like I could be doing more for the animals. I feel like I am responsible for helping them. But I also feel exhausted. I feel like my spirit is weak, because I have been focusing on the negative a lot.

I am a pessimist, although I sometimes think I am just being realistic.

I need to learn to let go of that which I have no control over and let people make their own choices – good or bad. Because telling people to stop paying for animals to be slaughtered isn’t guaranteed to change their mindset. In fact, most people become defensive and immature when faced with reality. They can get angry at you for asking them to change and argue that it’s a personal choice to murder innocent beings.

Anyway, I’m going off on a Vegan rant so I will end this one here.

P.S. I set up a YouTube channel and put up my first video, so be sure to check that out HERE.

See you in the next post!

~ Alex.

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10 Reasons I LOVE being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).

A little word of warning …

The super positive title of this post is going to soon be contradicted by a follow up post about why I HATE being a HSP. But for now, we will focus on what is AWESOME about being sensitive.

#1 – I am very empathetic and feel deeply connected to animals. I feel I can sense their mood and emotional state based on their body language. I also care for people, but animals have a special place in my heart because our World exploits them and takes everything it can without giving back (more on this another time). I see them as pure, innocent and REAL – much like Children before the World intrudes and turns them into self-conscious adults who act their way through life. My dog has helped me through some really tough times, just by being her little doggy self. If I was not a HSP, I wouldn’t appreciate the silent connection that two different species can share. Look how beautiful she is …

Maisie

(She isn’t quite so cute when she eats her own poop)

#2 – I make conscious choices and have very strong morals. If everyone could CARE and FEEL like we HSPs do, this World would not be so very fragmented and screwed up.

#3 – I don’t get distracted with unimportant things like status or owning the latest gadget. I live beyond the shallow. I am able to live DEEPLY and SPIRTIUALLY. I don’t believe in God or Religion, personally. However, I feel there is more to what we think we know based on the physical. I believe in …

#4 – … Nature! I absolutely love how wonderful and perfect Nature is. It grows food for us. It sustains life and gives, gives, gives. Epic Mountains. The Northern Lights. A Star-filled Sky. All the colours of the Rainbow. A Sunset. Snow. The fresh, optimistic feeling you get walking on a Beach and feeling at one with this Planet as your feet sink into the sand. Of course, some people don’t appreciate the Planet like we do and are gradually tearing it to pieces (watch ‘Cowspiracy’ on Netflix). I feel so peaceful in the outdoors and it’s a blessing to be within such an amazing World (despite all the chaos and noise it contains).

#5 – I am not overly reliant on people like many others are. This is largely in part because I am an Introverted HSP. But I think, because of my sensitivity, I appreciate time alone and feel like I really know who I am. While I can feel envious of other, ‘normal’, people – are they really happy if they cannot stand being in their own company? Is it good to rely on lots of people for your own happiness? Is it good to need a lot of external stimuli in order to feel alive? I feel alive and well when I am in my bed or sat in a garden chair reading a new book on my Kindle. It may sound boring to some, but for me it is blissful.

#6 – My intuition. I have learned to trust it, because there were times in my past when I didn’t want to hear the truth and only ended up causing myself greater despair further down the line. Sometimes our intuition will not be telling us something we want to hear, but when it is strong, we need to listen to it and take some time to be with ourselves while we decide upon a plan of action. Doing nothing causes a lot of problems when the voice in our head is screaming for change or an escape. It’s going to keep shouting until we do something.

#7 – My creativity. I write and record music, I can put YouTube videos together. I can be creative in my writing and this is the positive side of the HSP/Introvert coin. Although I sometimes feel like my talents aren’t recognised or respected (or even ‘needed’) in this World, I feel very connected to … something … when I am in the zone of creativity, or even appreciating the works of other people – Film makers, artists, writers, actors and musicians.

#8 – Knowledge and life experience. Through all the hard times I have been through, I feel like if I am a parent one day, I will be able to really help my child find their way through life. It all comes from understanding and accepting yourself – for your talents and your flaws. I also know you cannot be controlling as a parent and you need to allow children to make their own decisions and mistakes. Because mistakes and failures are important in becoming stronger and growing into an adult.

#9 – I feel LOVE stronger and more powerfully than non-HSPs. My Girlfriend is a HSP too, but I mean Love in general. I can suffer the consequences of feeling other emotions very strongly (more on than in the next blog post) but it’s great to feel such strong emotions at times. It is what makes us human and alive. I can be on Cloud 9 (whatever that actually means) and have Bipolar like highs when I am happy and excited. There is nothing that feels better than that.

#10 – Awareness and Survival in my Genes. If this World ever reverts back to us surviving in the Wild (Hunger Games style), I would be a great person to hang around with. Because I can sense changes in mood and the environment and I am careful, so avoid making rash decisions and school-boy errors. We really need some Highly Sensitive Politicians instead of these egotistical, greedy and power-hungry morons.

So…

What do YOU love about being a HSP? Leave a comment and please share this post if you enjoyed it 🙂

~ Alex.